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My Kiss (1)
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KISS


Step 1Pre Kiss


  • How to Kiss Sequence7.jpg
  • about to kiss.jpg
The lead up to the kiss can actually be the most difficult part of kissing. Figuring out whether your partner is ready to kiss you or not can be a challenge of its own.

If you see one or a combination of these indicators, there is a good chance that your partner is thinking about kissing you.

  • eyes become soft and heavy
  • eye contact is made and sustained
  • head turns slightly
  • lips are licked or bitten
  • your partner makes physical contact with you beyond what seems appropriate for normal conversation (e.g. he or she brushes your hand, touches you on the shoulder or leg, or fidgets with an accessory)
  • easy conversation comes to a stop, but eye contact is not broken
  • your partner smiles in conjunction with any of the above behaviors
To give your partner the cue that you wish to kiss him or her, you can try one or a combination of these things.

  • soften your gaze by relaxing the muscles around your eyes, somewhat like smiling but without engaging your mouth
  • smile often, though
  • make eye contact and allow it to linger for a few moments longer than you normally would
  • find ways to subtly (but respectfully) touch your partner
If you think you are picking up some of these signs, but are still unsure if the person wants to be kissed then there is nothing wrong with just simply asking your partner if a kiss would be all right. Granted it breaks the mood a bit, and sensing the magic is always nicer than asking if it's there, but better to be sure your partner is on board for the kiss otherwise you might be heading for an embarrassing situation.

If you've assessed the situation, and it seems probable that a kiss is imminent, the next things to think about are timing and approach. The key to nailing the pre kiss is matching your partner's speed and intensity. The kiss is the first opportunity to physically connect with your partner, and so you want to meet him or her halfway.

Here are some steps you could follow as you go in for the kiss. Keep in mind that the kiss you share with someone is as unique as your relationship with that person, so follow your instincts and use the following as a rough guideline.

1. Establish a physical connection by placing your hands on your partner's body. Placement depends on the dynamic between you, you can softly touch the face, the back of the neck or the shoulders. Be gentle with your touch if this is the first contact you are making. Stay away from "high risk" zones on your partners body, as you just want to indicate that you are interested in kissing them, not give them a full body search.

2. Establish and maintain eye contact from this point on. The eyes are often a clear indicator if someone wants to be kissed, or is thinking about kissing you. Try to look at your partner with a deep, yet soft gaze. Use your eyes to send them a message that shows how you feel for your partner, e.g., "I care for you, I am on fire when I look at you, I want to kiss you."

3. As you lean in, you may want to tilt your body and head to accommodate your partner's positioning. One partner will have to make room for the other, or both partners can just slightly tilt heads in opposite directions. Basically you are just trying to avoid a nose collision as you get closer, so just pick a side to turn to and don't give it too much thought.

4. Gauge how quickly your partner is leaning in and try to meet at the halfway point between you, so neither person is overextended. Over/under extension can make one person feel like they are not getting met and are either too aggressive, or not engaged enough.

If you have come this far with your partner chances are you are going to kiss, or you have misread the entire situation and they are just leaning in to look at something stuck in your teeth.
If the first is true, then read on because it's time to pucker up and get on with THE KISS.

The Kiss

Ok, it's time for THE KISS. Take all the elements from steps 1 and 2 and put them together. It's good to be methodical while practicing to kiss, but when it's time to do the real thing it should flow smoothly and come naturally. That means less step-by-step instructions, and more videos of the real thing.

Just a simple kiss.



Put a few of them together.



You can also touch your tongue to your partners lips ever so slightly. (This is not a French Kiss - just one method of placing the tongue towards the front of your mouth so you can just lightly brush your partner's lips upon contact.)
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  • Freshen your breath. You never want to have bad breath when you are about to kiss someone, whether the kiss is a French kiss or not. Because your mouth will be open in a French kiss, fresh breath is especially important. Practice good dental hygiene. Always have breath mints or mint-flavored gum if you think there is even so much as a hint of a chance you might kiss. Avoid foods that leave an unpleasant aftertaste or residue, particularly garlic, coffee, onions, milk, and corn.
  • Teeth are a sensitive subject. You definitely do not want to bump teeth with each other. It is not only awkward, but can hurt. It might inevitably happen at times, so do not worry when it does. You may want to try rubbing the backs or fronts of the teeth of the other person with your tongue. This can create a ticklish feeling that might enhance your kiss. Not everyone enjoys having someone's tongue rubbing on their teeth, and many do not like to touch teeth with their tongue.
  • Not everybody likes to be kissed the same way, so while your former partner might have enjoyed one method of kissing, your new love might not. You need to learn to read signals and adapt to a style that's comfortable for each of you. This works in reverse, too. Just because someone doesn't kiss you like you are used to does not mean they are a bad kisser. As long as you are comfortable with the kiss, try to be open-minded, as you just might like the new style.
  • Be an active partner. If someone is French kissing you and you want them to do so, do not just sit there but get into the kiss. Reciprocate their actions, and alternate taking the lead on the movements of your tongues and lips. If you are uncomfortable with any part of the kiss, do not be afraid to pull away or gently close your lips. This will give your partner the hint.
  • There are no rules for how long you should hold a kiss. If you feel uncomfortable at any time, break the kiss; otherwise, just enjoy it until one or both of you slowly pull apart, usually together. It is extremely romantic to lightly suck your partner's upper or bottom lip as you part. You might find yourselves returning to kissing, after each of you takes a breath.


  • To some people a hard tongue is a turn-off. Keep tongue and lips soft and supple. Think of the pressure used to lick a soft service ice cream cone, no probing with a stiff tongue unless the other enjoys it.
  • You can still French kiss if one or both of you has braces, but you should be careful to prevent the braces from touching each other. Also avoid touching the braces with your tongue (you might accidentally cut it). Check out How to Kiss with Braces.
  • Excessive saliva can build up during a French kiss, and that can interfere with the romantic moment. Swallow periodically without breaking the kiss. If you have trouble doing that, do not be afraid to pull away for a moment. Smiling when you pull away can reassure your partner that you're just taking a small break, not rejecting their affection.
  • Be aware that French kissing may transmit infectious diseases such as herpes and infectious mononucleosis (also known as mono).
  • If you ever feel uncomfortable or do not want to move forward with any move your partner is attempting, pull away and let your partner know that you want to stop. Be firm. It's OK to say no.